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by Levi Todd Old English grippan "to grip, seize, obtain " (class I strong verb; past tense grap, past participle gripen), from West Germanic *greipanan (source also of Old High German gripfen "to rob," Old English gripan "to seize;" see gripe (v.)). knowing that this is likely the one time ever that me and a new strange man who I do not wish to befriend or belove will touch I feel a certain guilt when the inevitable failure happens the potential intimacy dropped and floundering on the floor like a gilled thing i rack my brain for the index of handshakes tattered and fading my fingers slipping through holes this unspoken treaty requires we both read each other estimate what kind of men we are if at all whether to extend hands and tersely shake distance kept or rather to clasp palms wound against the thumbs and slip into fingertips or perhaps just clap and bump knuckles i’m telling you they want to know whether i am one of them and what kind which ranks i march with whose allegiance i pledge and i have no answer the proof is in the fumble still i would like to give this moment the chance it deserves we could make it work i think i think we could but there are so many options and knowing which one to pick like the rosiest apple from the bushel would require me to get to know them enough to do this a second time  Levi Todd is a queer poet and lifelong Chicagoan. They serve as Poetry Editor for Tinderbox Poetry Journal and as a relationship health educator with youth. Levi’s work is published in Pinwheel, Cotton Xenomorph, Glass: A Journal of Poetry, and elsewhere. Read more of their work at www.levitodd.com or say hi @levicitodd on Twitter. |