I SHOULD HAVE ALWAYS BEEN A KNIFE

                    by Cassandra de Alba 

the times without blood on my hands,
a weakness. in a darkened room, silence

i should have broken open, made to scream
so loud it cracked the frosted glass.

i want a history of only strength. to confetti 
the archives, melt the microfiche to slime. 

history is written by the guilty, to absolve themselves.
does the sky ever let me out of its sight?

does shame leave the body? mine crawls 
up my throat nightly, asking for water.







​

photo by by Marshall Goff

Cassandra de Alba’s work has appeared in Big Lucks, Underblong, and Smoking Glue Gun, among other publications. Her chapbooks are habitats (Horse Less Press, 2016) and ORB (Reality Hands, 2018). She is an associate editor at pizza pi press and co-host at the Boston Poetry Slam at the Cantab Lounge.